Le tout nouveau testament (The brand new testament)

In Jaco Van Dormael’s Le tout nouveau testament, God (Benoît Poelvoorde) exists and lives modern day Brussels. He has a wife (Yolande Moreau) and a ten year old daughter, Ea (Pili Groyne). Ea is the narrator, and she tells us she does not like god, her father. She calls him a “salaud”. That’s French for bastard. And he is. God actually enjoys torturing humans, sending them catastrophic disasters and diseases. He controls it all from a computer in a locked office. He treat his wife like a servant and beats his daughter. Ea is planning to revolt. She asks her brother, JC (David Murgia), what she should do. A small statue of Jesus Christ comes to life and speaks to Ea. As you can see Van Dormael’s imagination has no limits. That is why you have to see this film. So Ea enters the office and sends e-mails to everyone on the planet the pre-destined date and time of their death. She then locks the computer and escapes through the washing machine (the only way out of the apartment). God is furious and tries to find her. He too has to through the washing machine. Ea plans to write a brand new testament. So she has to find six new apostles. To write it she get help from Victor (Marco Lorenzini), a homeless man. Among the new apostles there is a pervert, an assassin and a boy who wants to be a girl. Each apostle has a different story to tell Ea and Victor. Meanwhile God is having any luck finding his daughter as humans are giving him a hard time. And back at home, God’s wife start cleaning his office. This is a completely off-the-wall fantasy. It’s funny and beautiful. And there is Catherine Deneuve as Martine, a woman falling in love with a gorilla. Probably one of the weirdest thing she has ever done in her long and distinguished career. Must see.

Rémi-Serge Gratton

Le tout nouveau testament (The brand new testament)

Directed by:
Jaco Van Dormael

Screenplay by:
Jaco Van Dormael
Thomas Gunzig

Starring:
Benoît Poelvoorde
Pili Groyne
Marco Lorenzini
Catherine Deneuve
François Damiens
Yolande Moreau

113 min.

In French and German with English subtitles.

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